![]() We do, however, have a means of dealing with such conflicts effectively when we respond according to principle. Much harm is done by people who are absolutely sure they are right at all times.Īs human beings, we cannot expect to be excluded from these conflicts simply because we have a Twelve Step program. Millions of people have conditioned themselves to selfish ways of thinking and behaving that are bound to cause such conflicts. It’s not surprising that the world is beset by conflicts. I will always win, however, if I keep my thinking straight and take care to avoid resentment and bitterness. If I seem to lose even when I’m right, I can know that there’s just resolution of everything in time. If I seem to win when I’m wrong, I will lose in the long run. It may be very harmful to look at these conflicts as a case of winning or losing. ![]() If I’m to follow my principles, I should hold to the idea of seeking the best outcome for everybody concerned. ![]() Looking ahead to this day, I may face a possible conflict with another person over a certain issue. Even here you should not blame yourself for failure you can be penalized only for refusing to try for better things.” Surely, you ought to look into this possibility. “Indeed, the slip could well have been brought about by unreasonable feelings of guilt because of other moral failures, so called. A decent regret for what has happened is fine. “Could I also suggest that you look at excessive guilt for what it is? Nothing but a sort of reverse pride. program, especially those parts of it which have to do with meditation and self-analysis. As calmly as you can, just renew your effort in the A.A. “Though I know how hurt and sorry you must be after this slip, please do not worry about a temporary loss of your inner peace. I pray that I may make the quality of my life good by these standards. I pray that I may be honest, pure, unselfish and loving. “What shall it profit a man if he gain the whole world, if he loseth his own soul?” By this standard, most of the so-called heroes of history were not great men. All men’s lives must be judged by this standard in order to determine their value to the world. The most valuable life is one of honesty, purity, unselfishness, and love. In order to judge the value of a man’s life, we must set up a standard. It is the quality of my life that determines its value. Is my faith being strengthened by this personal witness of other alcoholics? One way is by going to meetings and listening to others tell how they have found all the strength they need to overcome drink. But since our faith is apt to be weak, we have to strengthen and build up this faith. We’d be free from drink once and for all. If we had absolute faith in the power of God to keep us from drinking and if we turned our drink problem entirely over to God without reservations, we wouldn’t have to do anything more about it. When my will is in line with God’s will for me, there is peace within. Surrender is like the calm after the storm. It is only when I have experienced enough emotional pain, through failed attempts to fix myself, that I become willing to surrender to God’s will for my life. The matter of will (self-will or God’s will) is the more difficult part of the Step for me. He alone controls the number of days I will be granted until physical death. I choose to believe my life has always been in God’s care. Someone, or something, was looking after me. I could see many times where I should have died, or at least been injured, during my previous style of living, and it never happened. ![]() No matter how much one wishes to try, exactly how can one turn his own will and his own life over to the care of whatever God he thinks there is? In my search for the answer to this question, I became aware of the wisdom with which it was written: that this is a two-part Step. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
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